Divorces cost a pretty penny, no matter what your station is in life. When your net worth totals in the 10 figure+ range, you can expect to pay the GNP of a small developing nation for your uncoupling. Scraped from the headlines of reputable news sources and rags alike, here are the most costly divorces on the record books. Cringe, chortle or smirk as you read about people who’ve lost more in their divorce than most people have earned in their lives.
The King of Quirky British Crime Films vs. The Material Queen
Madonna and Guy Ritchie didn’t just collaborate on one of the worst movies ever made (“Swept Away”), they also made an indelible mark in the books of infamous divorces. Here’s an example of the wife having to pay the (ex) husband a settlement fee (an important moment in feminist history…maybe?). Mr. Ritchie finally earned his name, as he swaggered away from the Madge marriage with $92 million in his piggy bank. Even though their divorce took place in London, which typically favors a 50/50 spilt of assets, Ritchie held a modicum of self respect and didn’t try to fully sap the Voguer of her considerable, pop music funded fortune.
Saving Private Funding vs. …Some Random Actress in ‘Yentl’
Legend has it that this couple (Steven Spielberg and Amy Irving) had to take into account a prenuptial agreement when dividing up post-divorce assets – one that was scribbled on a dinner napkin. The legally binding document, which doubled as a nose blowing receptacle, stipulated that Irving receive $100 million from the “Jaws” director. Guess she really just needed a bigger boat.
Sex Addicted Feline vs. the Swedish Dish
You’d have to have been living well beneath a rock during 2009 to not have heard about the very public spilt of Tiger Woods (professional golfer) and Elin Nordegren (professional pretty person). After an untimely car smash up lead to the hyper-exposure of Tiger’s elite cheating practices, their six year union acrimoniously ended in divorce court. Elin was awarded $110 million, plus all the gold balls she could hurl at Tiger.
An Internally Flawed Diamond vs. A Not So Sweet Caroline
A quarter century of marriage quickly went down the drain once Marcia Murphey discovered that her crooner husband was also engaging in extramarital affairs. These peccadilloes ended up costing Mr. Neil Diamond $150 million.
Air vs. Mrs. J
When you make more money from a sneaker endorsement deal than most athletes annually earn in salary, you probably can anticipate dispensing with a healthy amount of change in your divorce. Such was the case with Michael Jordan (not to be confused with the far less wealthy Montell Jordan) when he and wife of 17 seasons, Juanita, parted ways. She Just Did It and was given $168 million. This lead Michael(’s attorneys to compel him) to put a prenup in place when he later proposed to Yvette Prieto. Jordan expects to reclaim some of the money he lost in the divorce once the development of “Space Jam 2” begins.
The Governator vs. Kennedy Royalty
Another highly publicized and brutal spilt, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver bid farewell to 25 years of wedded bliss when it came out that the Austrian politician/action star/English language mutilator had knocked up their nanny. Maria left him flat, but not before chiming “I’ll be back” …to collect her $250 million in settlement pay.
From Russia with No Love vs. Irate Irina
18.7 billion bucks in the bank is nothing to scoff at. In fact, when you have this many rubles, you probably can hire the best lawyers on the planet. Yet that did not deter Irina Abramovich from soliciting the aide of two top English divorce attorneys to bitterly fight her comrade husband (Roman Abramovich)’s litigators for her fair share. The Russian power couple’s marriage ended when it was revealed that Roman was cheating with beautiful “businesswoman” (model) Darya Zhukova. Irina got $300 million, and Roman got married to his darling “Dasha.” Common sense says there is a prenup floating around somewhere in that current marriage.
BET Founder vs. BET Founder
Another historically relevant couple, Robert Johnson holds the distinction of being the first African American billionaire and Sheila Johnson Robert Johnson is the first female African American billionaire. A classic example of mo’ money, mo’ problems, the BET co-founding couple wound up uncoupling after differences in opinion on how to run the massive media conglomerate came to a head. Sheila took away $400 million from the divorce, but for a self made billionaire this relatively isn’t much; she probably just spent it on shoes.
…to be continued!