Let It Out! (How to Cope with Anger After Divorce)
Experiencing a divorce can lead to a wide variety of unpleasant emotions. Underneath surface feelings of sadness and dejection, there often are very strong, remnant sentiments of anger. These acrimonious undertones can have numerous origins: either anger directed at one’s former spouse, possibly other parties involved, or indirectly at various other environmental factors. One thing that is for certain is that latent (or blatant) ire must be acknowledged and dealt with. In order to move forward, one has to deal with the present.
Embrace the anger. Often we sense a negative emotion brewing inside of us, and our immediate reaction is to stuff it back down. By stifling this, it only will fester in there and get progressively more debilitating. This ultimately can lead to depression, as the anger metamorphoses into deep sadness. Rather, take note of the anger, and think of (non-destructive) ways that you can channel it outward.
Don’t be scared. Anger is nothing to fear. Many people are raised to believe that getting mad is “bad.” The reality is that anger is a perfectly normal emotion. The easiest way to confront it is head on. By discussing one’s feelings with a relative, companion or even just the open air, once we let them out, we can begin the healing process.
Just let it out. Some people believe in a notion that once they tap into their anger and release it, they will become completely unhinged; a monstrous ball of vitriol and violence. This is completely unfounded. By simply giving the anger an outlet to escape, it will immediately begin to dissipate. Hitting the punching bag at the gym, screaming your lungs out under water or practicing Judo on a pillow; pick whichever option suits you best.
It’s your anger; own it. No one has the right to tell you how to feel. While many people do not like to let others see them in an emotional state, if this occurs, there is nothing to be ashamed about. Again, experiencing anger, in all its forms, is an integral step in rehabilitating one’s mental health.
Run, swim, jump. Physical exercise is one of the healthiest ways to work though one’s anger. Aside from the obvious natural benefits to one’s body, physical exertion releases all sorts of helpful endorphins (including serotonin, which is responsible for producing happiness). No need to push yourself too hard; just do whatever exercise you can comfortably perform on a regular basis.
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-Joe Leone